Joke :: essays research papers

DIET QUIZIf you answer "yes" to eight or more of these questions, you may want to consider restricting your future calorie intake: * Has your neighborhood grocery store ever offered to send for you with a limo? * After ordering lunch at a fast-food drive-through window, has it ever been delivered to your car on a hand truck? * Within the last month, have you burned out more than two refrigerator bulbs? * Do people often decide to follow you up on the next elevator? * Has your fork ever suddenly come up missing? * Have you ever broken out in a cold sweat when you realized you were more than a mile from the nearest Taco Bell? * Is there a restraining order against you from the Association of All-You-Can-Eat Restaurants? * On a recent Caribbean cruise, did the captain order you to stay in the center of the ship? * Do your picnics in the country involve renting a U-Haul? * Does the left side of your car seem to bottom out a lot? * Does your street always seem to have more potholes than other streets? ------------------------------------------------------------ FREE ** Business Cards ** FREE Want to pretend your an astronaut or a CEO of a major company? or do you have a real job? Get 250 full color cards at a value of $80.00 to $120.00 absolutely FREE: http://mailbits.net/ad/bcard.asp -------------------------------------------------------------Quick Wit: Legend has it that President Calvin Coolidge once entertained some friends from the country in the White House. His friends were concerned that they display proper table manners to win the President's respect, so they observed Coolidge very carefully and followed his example in detail. The meal passed smoothly, then coffee was served.